What the fuck?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

These thoughts, those voices... And now this? Yeah, you're laughing your ass off aren't you? Despite the fact that I took out your entire squad, you're laughing your ass off cause I was shot in the leg. You're laughing your ass off imagining me, crawling away from the location, yeah? Keep fucking laughing, cause, after going through so much pain both mentally and physically, I think I finally snapped.

Now, I may not seem like I snapped, hell, I don't think I snapped mentally. Sure, all I can see in my mind is your bloody carcass laying on the floor and me standing above you, with my sword sticking out of your throat. But, I mean, that's kind of an obvious thing to see coming from such an arrogant little shit like me, right? Yeah, I didn't snap mentally, I know who I am and what I need to do.

However, I think, I did snap physically. I was wondering why I never fought back when I was bullied, I mean, I could swing a few knuckles here and there and yet, I never even attempted to do so, it wasn't because I was afraid, believe you me, fear is kind of pointless when it comes to bullies, they never have the guts to do anything serious, so why be afraid? Couple of bruises? That'll heal up, hell, that's practically a souvenir right there and then I realized, every wound I have is a souvenir, no matter how recent or old.

Those are like ink in a history book, they are recordings of my life. So what happens when so many bruises appear on your body throughout your life? You get accustomed to it, that's why I never fought back, I think I enjoyed the pain. This bullet wound hurts like hell, but it feels so damn good, I literally came back like 1 hour ago and I should have been patching up the bullet wound, but I spent an entire hour just sitting in the corner and soaking in the pain. The blood running down my leg feels so warm, in this moment, I feel alive, I feel complete.

So yeah, throw as many of your associates at me as you can, it'll only bring me joy, asshole.