So my inability to drink myself to death continues to persist. There I am, under some unknown bridge, in the middle of the night, not even remembering how I got there to begin with, drinking whiskey straight from the bottle, hoping that it will just outright poison me, when all of a sudden the fucking Tarman decides to pay me a visit.
I didn't hear him sneak up on me, probably for the same reason that I don't much remember what exactly he was asking of me, I was fucking shit-faced. I can however figure out what he was potentially asking me based on the conversation we would proceed to have, he was probably asking me as to where my and the Bandaged Idiot's hideout was. I probably replied with some unintelligible bullshit, because whatever it is that I said to him, I could suddenly feel his cold as steel, tight grip on the back of my neck. He pushed me towards the freezing river and threw my ass right in, the sudden chill hitting my entire body disoriented me and I was splashing in that water like a little kid, slowly drowning, but he wouldn't let me. As I was going under the water, I felt the same cold steel grip wrap around one of my arms, instantly pulling me out of the water, his other hand grabbing onto my shirt and holding me by it in front of his rotting, greenish, ugly mug.
"Allow me to recapitulate, now that you are in a more nonindulgent state..."
Got a good look at one of his hands, the one that seemed to be made of cold steel, no wonder, either it actually is made out of cold steel, or it is encased in some kind of, medieval looking armor. One might assume he is a big Evil Dead fan, but the way this guy speaks tells me that he is not a fan of anything that is fun.
"What was the locus of your last inhabitation?"
Through rattling teeth, I promptly told him to go fuck himself for interrupting my drinking session and for sobering me up. That earned me a slam into the ground, after which he pulled out a butterfly knife, spun it around and stabbed it into the ground near one of my legs. The big hat covering his face in shadows, but I could still see the light reflecting off of one of his eyes, the one that had no eye lids, this guy was an ugly motherfucker.
"I do not luxuriate in rehearsing my queries, so impart the data that I seek and I'll be on my way."
Now I have no idea why the fuck he would want to know the hideout that we used to stay off the radar, considering that the Bandaged Idiot is not there and most likely won't be back there anytime soon, whatever the reason was, I wasn't going to give him the answer because simply put, what the fuck was he going to do? Kill me? Yes please.
To which he replied by grabbing me by the throat with his armored hand, dragging me across the ground, lifting me up and pinning me up against the wall. Gotta say, for a guy that looks like he is perpetually rotting away, he's pretty fucking strong.
His response to my "Fuck off, or kill me" ultimatum was to threaten me with some vague bullshit.
"Leer at me and tell me, does it seem like expiration is the concluding stop here?"
He took off his hat, the moonlight revealing his ugly mug, lipless teeth, one eye with no eyelids, no nose and green, rotting skin. It was amazing how his look did not transfer the same smell.
"I could mold you into an analogous being, or worse."
I guess he was threatening me with perpetual rot, I don't know what exactly it was that he meant, I was about to tell him a third time to fuck off, but both of us were interrupted by a third, more familiar voice, that was coming from the shadows, the thick Jamaican accent echoing around us.
"You won't get anything out of him that way Terror."
I looked to the side and out of the shadows came out the weirdo with the golden teeth. With his half-bird mask on and weird ceremonial robe, as if he was back there the entire time.
"Pardon me Mr. Eko, but I deem this a personal matter that does not concern a speculator's interruption."
And just like that we had a name for the mysterious messenger that's been popping up here and there. Looking at "Mr. Eko" the Tarman decided to let me go, allowing me to promptly slide down to the ground against the wall. I would start walking away then and there, but something tells me I'd end up in a pinned position again, so if I was going to listen, I'd rather do it in a comfortable position.
"The boy is stubborn and wants to die, there is nothing you can threaten him with."
Damn straight.
"And what do you propone?"
This is where I was caught off guard, because out of his robe he took out a piece of paper, I was able to see what it was, they were coordinates. I didn't know where they would lead to, but I knew that they were aimed at the hideout that we used. You see, the hideout we were using this entire time was this weird pawnshop that the Bandaged Idiot's friend used to own and apparently it moved, true enough every time I'd step out of it, I'd be getting out in a different location, I have no idea how any of that shit worked so don't bother asking, but that is how we managed to avoid being tracked this entire time. Until now I guess, unless those coordinates led to some random shit-hole instead.
Which is exactly what big green and ugly thought.
"And I reasoned that the plebeians of Examia were accorded to not impede on the events."
I have no idea wtf Examia is, don't bother asking me, half the shit this guy says sounds like a random word salad.
"We are not. Shifting is not "impeding" Mr. Schreck."
Now, I'm sure he was using the German word for "Terror" when referring to the Green Freak, I'm assuming a name he used in the past, however, it is much funnier to assume that he named himself after the meme.
Gang Green looked at me, then back at "Mr. Eko" who was still holding out the piece of paper with coordinates on it, clearly thinking over his options here. In the end he decided to go with the coordinates, but not before he decided to leave us a few more of those lovely word salads.
"This is just a supposition, but I suspect that you have been metamorphosed into an apparatus."
Yeah fantastic, as if that wasn't obvious already. After that he put his hat back on, took the coordinates and walked off. So I was now alone with "Mr. Eko" so obviously I asked him what the fuck he meant by me being "metamorphosed into an apparatus". To which "Mr. Eko" replied:
"Follow me, we have much to witness."
And then he began walking away, clearly assuming that I was just going to blindly follow him without any answers, so I told him to either answer my question or get bent. He stopped and slowly turned towards me.
"You didn't listen to me once and now you have a child haunting you, do you want to make the same mistake?"
In retrospect, writing this up, I should have seen it as nothing more than manipulation... but fuck man, I ended up following him, I don't know why and I don't need a thousand comments telling how much of a bad idea it was, I know, but you know what, go fuck yourself, right off of your high horse.
It wasn't all that bad, I walked after him for a few hours, neither of us saying anything to the other, until I got fed up, stopped and asked him where the fuck he was taking me. He just stopped, looked at me and then proceeded to walk further into the alley, I was about to follow him but a loud metal clanking sound that was caused by a trash can being tipped over by an alley cat caused me to look away from him for a few seconds, which is when he pulled his disappearing act, because when I looked back, he was gone.
So after being interrogated by Shrek and dragged out into a random alley by a weirdo, I thought I earned a little break and so I went into a diner that was just outside the alley to grab a seat and get myself some coffee, then I decided to update the blog with this write-up, no idea why, you'd think I'd throw the laptop into the river at this point, but here we are.
