Yes, I'm alive and updating this stupid blog for some reason... Well there is a reason, the reason being, so that a certain, annoying fuck-head would stop pestering me about it.
No point in beating around the bush, I'm currently on the run with Kelevra and I don't even know why, hence the title of the post.
Last I updated this blog me and Franky were holed up in one of many dilapidated buildings present in London, with me slowly dying. From what Kelevra said, all the shit I injected myself with from that briefcase was catching up with me, it sure as hell felt like it, I practically lost feeling all over my body, I could see some parts of my skin changing into sickly green colours and my vomit was of similar colour, but was also, always accompanied with blood. In simple terms, I was rotting from the inside and I wasn't having a good time, but you know what? I was ready to die, kind of welcomed it too, there was nothing left to live for, Alesa is dead and Claude disappeared, what the fuck was there left for me to do? Run and survive? Fuck that.
But of course, the annoying shit-stain that is Kelevra, who is currently looking at me writing this post and is telling me not to call him that, on account of it being rude, but he can go fuck himself, because he is indeed an annoying shit-stain.
Busted into our little hideout, I don't know how he found us, don't really care and he doesn't feel like sharing, says it's irrelevant. So he strolled in, Franky was immediately on his guard, probably ready to call up his pets for help, but the bandaged fuck just raised his hands and said that he came in peace.
Me and Franky of course didn't buy any of it, we knew who he was, I'm sure this will tickle his dick, but the dude did have quite the reputation prior to his death and because of that, we knew that not only was he dangerous, he also fancied himself some sort of Lecter-styled manipulator.
So Franky didn't let his guard down, until Shit-stain started talking, now Franky never talks, so his diplomacy skills are non-existent, which is why it's a good thing that Shit-stain ignored him and just proceeded to talk to me.
Told me to keep my pet (Referring to Franky) on a leash, how him calling up a bunch of Denizens wouldn't help us at all and how if he wasn't allowed to come closer, I would die.
I tried to muster up a laugh, because the whole situation was so ridiculous. Here's this known psychopath, with delusions of grandeur, who has access to magical voodoo which he used several times to take on the likes of Starfucker and etc. And of all places, he is here, talking to me an unknown nobody, who he never interacted with, who was on his death bed.
I naturally told him to go fuck himself, but he just kept on talking, about how he had medicine that could help me, heal me completely and keep me alive, at first I thought that this guy was thick in the head and just wasn't getting the message, but then I realised, he wasn't talking to me at that point, he was applying pressure to Franky, who at this point eased his stance. I'd be angry in that moment if I wasn't confused, as I said, I never was that close with Franky, none of us were, apart from Alesa I guess, mainly due to him being a weird fuck who is always hiding behind his mask and who never talks. When and why he started caring about me to any extent, I have no idea, but he did and that's exactly what Shit-stain used to make him step aside.
I would yell at him not to do that, but I started vomiting at that point, after I was done puking my guts out, without getting a spare moment to tell him to fuck off, he shoved a water bottle in my mouth, filled with what looked like regular water and forced me to drink it, fucker nearly choked me.
Then something happened, last thing I remember is me mouthing off and yelling at Shit-stain until, according to Shit-stain, I lost consciousness. And apparently, I was knocked out for two days, when I came to, I felt good as new, I regained feeling in my body, all the sickly green spots were gone and overall, physically, I felt great. I don't know what he made me drink, he said that he will post an explanation on his blog at some point, as if anybody cares.
My main point of concern was, why? Why in the fuck did he save my life and what the fuck exactly did he want with me?
He went off on some philosophical mumbo jumbo for a bit, taking his sweet time to get to the point, which was, he needed a planner, someone who could look over his own plans and tell him where they sucked. Apparently being ambushed by Starfucker really fucked him up. So why me? He didn't really answer that question, he kind of did, but I can tell that wasn't the full answer, the answer that he did give me was that I was the only person that he knew of from the blog who had some kind of strategic management abilities.
Regardless, I yet again, told him to fuck off, not interested.
Until he said that he knew where Claude was...
More than that, he knew who gave the order to kill Alesa...
Yeah, he could be playing me, as I said, dude fancies himself as some sort of super-psychology-manipulator man. But I kind of just don't care, if he kills me, he kills me, whatever, but this is the only lead I have, in not only finding Claude, but even going beyond him and taking out the fucker who gave the order to begin with.
If I wasn't with Kelevra right now, I'd probably be dead with a bullet in my head.
Fuck blogging.
Let me be the first to officially declare to you, how much of a dumb fucking idea all of this is.
ReplyDeleteOh hello Captain Obvious, would you like to state something else that would definitely enlighten all of us? Like, maybe the fact that grass is green?
DeleteFuck off.
Oh I'm sorry, the fact that you're clearly going through with the obvious bad idea, gave me a reasonable impression, that you're indeed unaware of how much of a bad idea it is, to follow around a psycho who has no qualms about murdering people, which he then proceeds to fuck.
DeleteYou're an idiot.
Slight addendum, I USED to fuck dead bodies, don't need to now.
Delete^ That should tell you everything you need, you moron.
DeleteYou don't even fucking know what I'm planning on doing yet, all I did so far, is use him in order to escape from a hostile area, that's it. Yet here you are, giving me a fucking speech on how stupid I am, honestly, who the fuck even are you?
DeleteSome bitch who was brain wiped, then got her ass saved by some random weirdo on the internet and who has been sheltering you since.
I don't need your shit, kindly take it and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
Oh, he’s not playing you. He wants critique and you want to die. This is a very simple transaction.
ReplyDeleteRight, sure, cause it's always that simple with a psycho like him.
DeleteThe terms are simple, is all I mean. I don’t think he’s lying to you or playing you. If you’re as sharp as I suspect you are, you’ve already done your research into what he’s going to do.
DeleteAs for the fact he’s a psycho and the road to victory itself is going to be very painful and complicated and you probably won’t make it, well yeah, obviously, but I wasn’t gonna waste your time telling you shit you already know.
Speaking of things you may or may not know, a tip on staying alive around him - ask questions.
Yes, I've totally done my research in the time that I've spent slowly dying on a bed in the middle of a dilapidated building. I don't care what his delusional brain makes him believe what he must do, all I know and care about is the info he has on the people who murdered Alesa.
DeleteRoad to victory- what the fuck are you on about? All I want is the people who killed Alesa to be dead themselves, after that I'll most likely put a bullet in my own head, that's it.
Yeah, no, fuck him and his shit attempts at mind games.
Road to victory for Kelevra, in humorously poetic language.
DeleteYou better fire the bullet into your ass to make sure it hits your head.